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Immortal Night

Now it seems that everyone is gaga for Vampires and Lycans.  Hollywood is making a fortune on the trend as are some on-line games.  I am working for one such mmorpg, a text based game called Immortal Night  As the forum moderator and Player Liason I cannot tell you how much fun I have.  I found the game works best if one is not shy, and starts conversations with everyone.  I guess that was why the Admin for the game finally noticed me and promoted me. 

 

I am the vampiress, Devorah in the game.  I have been married to two men, (twice to Tatsel, and six times to VVolfs13ane, both vampires.  As attractive as I find male Lycans, I am not into cross species marriages).  Not only is there skill involved in actually playing the game, there seems to be an abundance of writers hanging out on this site.  I know that the forum posts are better written than most game site forums, and the in game Private Messages I get are quite erudite. 

 

The game allows me to be anything I want, and I have found laughter, friendships and even romance within it’s confines.  I am in love for instance with a vampire named Antoine Saint Just who is the ambassador for the Order of the Dragon, and he spends too much time in Paris, where we first met nearly 300 years ago.  Devorah is Private Secretary to one of the most powerful Immortals, Duke of the Arctic, whom she greatly admires and respects.  Let me just say that the correspondence exchanged between Devorah and Antoine is romantic, poetic, funny and often heart wrenching.  It is so remarkable that I have read Antoine’s letters to my real life friends and watched them swoon.  All I know about the real life Antoine is nothing.  He could be anyone, anywhere of any age.  I am head over heels for him.

 

Tatsel is the evil ex-husband whom has caused me more than one nightmare since I began playing.  I left him because of his abusive nature, and yet Devorah just can’t seem to let go.  She and Tatsel still have this love/hate relationship that actually spills over into real life, as we are now IM’ing in MSN.  Yikes!  We also love to argue in the forums and probably bring chuckles to several players. 

 

My current husband Wolfie is a fox in real life, and far too young for me, but not too shabby to look at.  We exchanged pictures and we have remained good friends.  He is a veteran gamer and a source of great information in play strategy.

 

Then there is Drakkener, Devorah’s lover and husband of Princess Selene.  Their affair is kept secret but the affair between me and the real life Drak is developing.  He lives in Horsham, England and we wish to be married.  First we should meet I think.  We shall see.  I hope you will visit the site which I have linked here and sign up.  Be sure to write to Devorah and tell her who you are.  Could be allot of fun.

 

Blessed Be  

Liquid Gold

     Or more valuable than that, more seductive, certainly more fragile is TIME.  There is never enough of it, but we wish it away all the time.  How many times a day do you say, "I can’t wait…"  Silly are the things it seems we can’t wait for.  School to start, summer vacation to start, Christmas, my birthday (although around 30 I believe most of us stop wishing for that one to get here faster), our first house, the baby to be born, walk, talk…, ar raise at work, the big promotion, the corner suite, my book to be finished, published.  On and on goes the list, and when the actual even get here do we savour it and hold it close?  Or are we busy looking forward to the next item on the list.  Our individual "Bucket Lists". 

 

     It is said with age comes wisdome, but it seems to me the only wise thing I have learned is don’t waste time because it ain’t ever coming back.  I can’t wait until they invent a time machine…blessed be my darlings.

Controversy Is Over Embellished!

     Katy Couric is interviewing Glen Beck!  Who cares?  I am tired of the news media telling me what to think by offering me different views on the same issues and slanting things the way they want to lead me.  I refuse to be led any by the nose by some Madison Avenue hype perpetrated as news.  The networks seem to think that if they dress their swill up to look like news America will believe it is.  Well people this is the most devious hoax out there.  I suggest if you want news get it from the internet or word of mouth.  Gone are the days of legitimate news.  Cronkite died and so did morality in reporting.   It didn’t sell, it was provided as a service, but the bean counters whispered to their bosses, "hey we can alleviate these losses if we do it as entertainment and mass market it with all the glitz of primetime.  We don’t owe the American public this service anyway."  Guess what folks?  I’m not buying it nor should you.  I don’t buy CNN, not Fox nor even my local news programming.  I suggest a mass letter writing campaingne and follow it up with a New-Out.  That’s right, everyone turn off their televisions during the news for a twenty four hour period.  Even if you watch the cable food channel or Animal planet during the news our, send the message, "I’m shutting it off."  I would go so far as to say let’s do this everyday until the execs get the picture and find a solution.

 

Blessed Be

 

    

Melt Down

     I am moving this weekend and there are so many tasks I must accomplish today.  I feel like I am finally alone in my life, which also means there is nobody to help.  That’s okay.  I find I’m surprised to think that, but it’s true.  Yes I’m alone, and I like it for a change.  I have finally sloughed off all the friend and family who insisted in controlling me.  I still love them all, but good grief people I am my own person after all.  I have a right to live the life I want not the one they wanted for me.  Not the one they wanted me to provide for them.  I believe some of the decisions I have been making lately are decisions I was too afraid to make for so long.  Well guess what, I’m not afraid anymore.  I can walk alone.  I can hold my head up high and be proud of who I am.  I really like myself.  "You can’t please everyone, so you got to please yourself" when Ricky Nelson sang those words I didn’t know how moved I would be by them all these years later.

 

     My sister tried to tell me last night how worried and concerned "everyone" is by my "addiction" to the internet and to the game "Evony".  I asked her who "everyone" was and she said "Well me, Laura…."  I told her I didn’t much care what Laura thought of my life style.  She said that I should.  "Good Gravy Miss Molly Pass The Biscuits Please!!!" Precisely the kind of thing I was talking about.  You can’t let other people rule your life.  I don’t care how hard it is to break with tradition.  If the tradition includes you denying yourself a shred of happiness to preserve some silly notion of what your family feels is the way you should live.  For the first time in my life I am going to do what I want, when I want.  I am not cutting people out, I am merely learning that what they want for me may not be what I want myself, and if that is the case then they will have to adapt to me, not the other way around. 

 

     My friend in Tassie is so paranoid that his family won’t approve of me that he is paralyzed with fear.  In his huge heart I think he knows that I might just be the perfect woman for his life, but because I don’t fit the description of his family’s ideal mate, he will sit back and watch it all fall apart between us.  I can picture him in my mind’s eye so will, and the grief it causes me is nearly unbearable.  I don’t care that my family is totally against me loving him, I just do.  I can no more stop the feelings I have for this man than stop breathing.  He is tossing and turning at night and getting grouchy from lack of sleep.  I can tell him that this is unfulfilled desire, but I doubt that he would believe me.  So I have elected to stay away from our rendezvous spot for a few days while I sort things out for myself.  He confessed to me that he checks several times a day to see if I am on-line yet, so he must have it as bad as me, right?  This may sound bizarre to some of you, but staying away from chatting with him is going to be nearly unbearable.  I can’t believe how much I crave the few words that we share each day.  I told him that I am planning on bumming around Europe when I retire.  I told him perhaps he will track me down and we can share a glass of wine and a few laughs. 

 

     I am not having a meltdown.  I refuse to believe that the choices I am making are detrimental to my life style, honestly they are quite beneficial.  There has to come a point in each of our lives when we finally stand up and say, "Enough."  I have had enough of other people telling me what sort of life I should lead.  Where I should live, what I should eat or drink.  What kind of car I should buy.  Who I should love or not love.  No, I am not melting I am growing quite firm in my resolve to have what I want for a change.  So as Dylan said, "Get out of the doorway, don’t block up the halls, For the Times they are a changing."

 

Blessed Be!

Aries Power

          I can’t believe that I have found the perfect roommate.  She is an amazing woman, and remarkably like me.  We even share the same birthday.  I have this feeling that it won’t take long before we are finishing each other’s sentences.  The perfect part is that she is working on the other side of the mountains during the week, and only home on weekends.  So I will have the house to myself most of the time.  Well, except for Raymond.  Raymond is her dog, Pug/Yorkie and quite a charater he is.  I swear he is as much Aries as my roommate and I.

     So I am moving this weekend, and my friend in Tasmania thinks it is a good move.  However, he is no longer interested in me as a gf, so it really doesn’t matter how he feels does it.  He won’t be coming to visit me, and I won’t be going there.  It makes me sad, to think we will never meet.  We were really ideally suited I think, but he is too afraid to tell his family that he met a woman on the internet.  He thinks they would never accept me.  That just seems so sad to me.  His family would rather he live out his life alone and unloved than allow him to find happiness where he may?  I don’t get it.  My family wasn’t happy about me meeting him either, but did that stop me?  Not at all.  So my heart is a little bruised, but I did manage to salvage a friendship out of it.  I still adore him and it is hard to refrain from telling him how I still feel.  I will keep looking for love in my life though, and that I have him to thank for.  Until he woke that side of me I hadn’t realized how important sex and love still are.

     So I move this coming weekend and don’t know how long it will be until I have my computer back on-line.  Let’s hope it doesn’t take long

 

Blessed Be

 

    

    

 

    

New Leaf

     It’s time for me to turn the page of the book which is my life.  Since I got out of rehab I have been living with my sister which was a benefit to both of us.  Now it’s time for me to spread my wings and fly.  I will probably be moving out by September for which I have to admit I am really excited.  I found a couple of places not too far from work which are on the commuter train route, have heated swimming pools and jacuzzis, exercize rooms and fireplaces.  Okay so I have to give up the hard wood floors and vaulted ceilings, I can also give up a huge portion of my monthly budget as I downsize.  Seriously I couldn’t be more pleased.  So no more shopping at Nordstrom’s I’m back to the Good Well and Value Village stores.  This will be just like when I moved into the half way house where I wrote "It’s Never Enough" except I’ll have money!  Woo Hoo! 

 

     Apartments are cheap right now and so I don’t think I could have picked a better time to do this.  I will take my camera with me this weekend so you can get some ideas of what I am lookint at.  So this is to be continued…

Blessed Be My Darlings